SURRENDERING TO THE UNKNOWN

Lately lots of older memories have been arriving as things shapeshift and change and call me forward in a different kind of way. I have been hitting into deep pockets of reflection about my past and how things have brought me to this point, the good, the bad, the beautiful, all here and all I can do is Surrender To The Unknown.

Yesterday I went to a special place that I remember through my beingness.

It's a place that always holds me.

I have been going to the banks of the River all my life, unbeknownst to me, it was a natural pull and draw and I didn't always understand WHY I always gravitated towards that particular place as a child.

As a child my deep sadness and melancholia brought me there so many times...
and at the time I didn't understand the healing power of the elements.

Looking back I can clearly see now that sometimes, things just enter at the right time, and we don't always receive an answer, until years later.

They also come at the wrong time, too.

(a true story and tale of a lives foreshadowing)

And of course with every answer, a new question arouse.

Through all the turmoil. And upheaval.

The WATER came rushing...

Our Tears washed away, all that has been hidden.

Very much like the sacred waters of life.

A cleansing. A remembering, Happens in the process of shedding skins.

One time I met a woman who told me she couldn't Cry. I thought that was the strangest thing, for I have been Crying all my life.
At that particular healing retreat, I was crying everyday - something was opening deeper inside of me.

It definitely did NOT go as PLANNED.

But ODDLY enough that is how my ARTIST RETURNED.

Although you could say, it was always trying to return, but there is something about the intensity of the times in the fertile darkness, and the ruptures that took over me, that led me more deeply back to myself.

The complete loss of identity and metaphorical nakedness took over, and it would take years to reassemble the pieces, you could say, I am reaching the point of my own critical mass as I type these words here.

It's time -

But at that particular place and time, it created more doubt and even more questions. A deep schism. An internal conflict.

Awakening Points is what I call them. Something that is hard to give words to, or explain and maybe its not supposed to have them. But forever the rebel and ready to expel the stories.

Well I will always try -- to find the words...

As everything is rising again in a different way in this moment and place and point of time, the memories and the dreams, and the years flying and spinning and weaving there way into a new tapestry of something yet unknown,

they are creating these reflections and new compulsions for myself - to say what it is - and has been, for me - to use my voice, in my own sacred way, to tend to the garden of my heart through the way of ART and Creation, herself.

And lots of thoughts have been swirling about the heart of the Artist, or what it even means to be one...

What does it mean to say I AM AN ARTIST? to be an ARTIST?

Who decides? Who defines it?

I am not to sure anyone can define it except the Artist, which is strange because well, there are so many definitions, whether put upon us, dictated by history, or opinions, and judgements even.

It's a Strange JOB.

In some sense ART arrives and is derived from the ephemeral, there is a compulsion where the individual can not look away, and the muse enters at all hours of the night.

It's in constant motion and flow.
Like BREATHING.
Messages arrive.

So lately I thought to myself also, perhaps the Artists job is to simply deliver the messages, and then let go of everything they thought they knew about them.

RECEIVING is such a GIFT. But not everyone SEEs it.

The ARTIST is in a way a receiver of something more than, yes, even at times words, but words can also become part of the Art.

Always a conundrum for me.

Sometimes I wake in the middle of the night with words filling my brain and I run, rushing to to write them down -- and sometimes the colors form before the image --

Sometimes I can see the image so clearly in a simple unpredictable moment, the way someone laughs, or the way someone says something, the happenstance of the way things fly together.

its the ARTISTS job to catch the LITTLE MOMENTS -- and RETURN them, but they can't control if anyone else SEES -- it, too.

The PARADOX.

So I suppose....

The ARTIST brings things into clearer view.

The ARTIST is in constant relationship with the impermanence and expressive nature of being.

The ARTIST can't look away, even when it hurts, they will enter the darkness and bring back the treasure.

The ARTIST can't RUN AWAY.

The ARTIST follows the impulse all the way through to the heart of creation

And seeks to RETURN the BEAUTY even through the brokenness.

And I was also thinking the other day, well, maybe the ARTISTS job is to release all the CRIES back to the world, to give them voice, to create the energy and emotionality.

And offer an opening, a doorway to something beyond even at times, that the ARTIST understands, fully...

And it can happen in a tiny moment. In something still.

It can happen in a wild moment. In something to fantastical.

It can happen in our tears and through facing our fears.

It can happen in the spaces between the dreamer and the dream.

It can happen in all kinds of ways.

Much like life, the call of the Artist is

Unpredictable.

Unbound.

Unshakeable.

Undeterred.

Limitless.

Infinite.

And you can't take the ART out of the ARTIST

But so many things will try to TAKE it AWAY.

So the ARTIST

Dares to enter, the cave, again and again.

To bring back the metaphysical and metaphorical.

To conjure magic and mystery.

To return color to the world.

Of course, that's just how I SEE it.

And that is the BEAUTY of

Being an ARTIST.

For the ARTIST in the end

Does INDEED

DECIDE.

Creative Liberation: Embracing Working On Loose Sheets Of Paper

As much as I enjoy a good sketchbook, I often find myself turning to working on LOOSE SHEETS of PAPER — I don’t really want to be Contained a lot of the times in my art practice and in my life — so this video on my YOU TUBE channel talks about working on loose sheets of paper and how I see the benefits from it, I also show you some of my tips, tricks and little Secrets.

Through my art process and practice over the years I found that I have to stay true to my own expressions. I also have found this to be the most challenging thing to get used to because so much REJECTION comes when you decide to show up as yourself, for yourself.

The other thing I understand to be true is when one decides to commit to their own path un-apologetically — things start to move into focus more, and there are clearings where there once were obstacles. So I hope you enjoy this video…

PAPER TRAIL:WORKS ON PAPER

PAPER TRAIL: Works On Paper
I am happy to have two works on paper in the online exhibit : PAPER TRAIL : Works On Paper online at ARTSTY.NET through EMERGE GALLERY NY
The two works presented represent a departure from traditional forms and a commitment to always pushing the experimental and expressive approach in my work. Break Of Dawn (pictured below) is a piece that has been assembled from 7 other older works on paper that is expressive, emotional and energetic. The idea has been to take older works and re-imagine the structure of a piece, keeping things a little off kilter on purpose. I love the assemblage of the different disparate often abandoned elements that eventually make a new WHOLE. Deconstruction is just as important as Reconstruction in this Paper assemblage process.

Break Of Dawn, 2023 - Acrylic, Ink, Graphite, Pastel & Collage - 19 1/2 × 17 1/2 in | 49.5 × 44.5 c

Breathing Out, 2023, Acrylic, Spray Paint, Graphite, Pastel & Collage, 24 × 17 1/2 in | 61 × 44.5 cm

Breathing Out (pictured above) is a piece of 4 assembled older works on paper, assembled to create a NEW work. The assemblage is meant to be uneven and off kilter, when you view this work you do not see a true center line, it’s a little askew. The raw, energetic and expressive qualities of mark making and gestural movements, and the vivid coloration offers a deeper gaze into the wild heart of creation.

Both pieces seek to create deeper conversations of what it means to be WHOLE, what it means to BROKEN. What it means to be LOST and what it means to be FOUND. This new direction emerged in the last couple of years, yet I myself overlooked my own self in the process. This really does speak to the cyclic nature of life, birth and death. This process is highly present in my Art Practice and Process.

If you are interested in viewing the full show Paper Trail: Working with Paper with Artist talk from some of the Artists, include myself: Natalie Dadamio
(time stamp for my work and myself - 7:12 - 10:12) you can click on the video below.

WhAt’S IN THE WAY?

A little poem came out — actually a lot of poems are coming out now — a lot more words - my heart has always been sensitive - I didn’t always trust it all but I am starting to see — I can trust my heart. Can you trust yours?Cheers to trusting our hearts more and more as we move forward in these times.

Have you ever asked yourself What's In The Way?

What's in the way to starting?

Or starting over?

Or starting again?

Have you ever dived deep down into the abyss of your heart and took a look around?

Have you ever listened to the tiny whispers, or silent screams, or loud songs calling you forward?

Have you ever sat with the pain long enough to notice the subtle shifting awareness melting into nothingness?

Have you ever traveled across the universe, crash landed into another, and looked into eyes that truly saw you, for you?

Have you ever sat in silence wondering, wishing, longing for an answer that never came?

Have you ever danced wildly in the dark, releasing all your fears?

Have you ever wished upon a star in the blackest night or blew wishies from a dandelion into the summer soaked air?

Have you ever wanted to say one more thing before it was too late?

Tell Me, Where Does It Hurt?

Tell Me, What is in the Way?

Tell Me, What I could I have Done?

Tell Me, And we can Start.

Tell Me, And we can Start Over.

Tell Me, And we can Start Again.

Across The Universe - 18” x 12” - Mixed Media On Paper

ClOSER - Finishing A painting

This is just a short clip where I talk a little bit about when a piece is closer to being finished.

To me, it's so intimate and personal to decide this part. I rely on feelings, yet I am still checking off my list of non non-negotiables I have for myself. Of course these are things that happen over time, you can’t rush the process, or plan it, or define it.

When staying open to mystery and magic in art and life there is the search that must happen. The journey one must take. Each of these are so individual and unique to us. Just like no two fingerprints are the same, neither are the marks we make, even if it is the “same” mark.

It’s never been made by YOU. It’s never been said by YOU. It’s never been EXPRESSED by YOU.

This is the importance of building practice into your life, not just in art, but in how you see, how you show up, who you decide to be, how you heal, how you dance, how you open into the being of all expressions.

This is the practice of art, and over time, we come to find who we truly are in the process.

Inspired By A SONG

I LOVE this SONG so MUCH - And recently It SAVED me -- and OPENED me -- I can't explain it - it was in the past few weeks where I just found it and put it on REPEAT and Cried and Cried and Cried.

As I was crying, I was organizing my past notes since 2017 — little things I had written to myself, and snippets of course and class ideas, long before the Artist returned. I was met with this overwhelming feeling and realization that I have been walking this path and building towards this moment.

Often times we can really lose ourselves in thinking that things are all in vain, and it is easy to lament and get distracted and get down on ourselves for not being somewhere we thought in our minds we should of been.

So within this moment of listening to this song and sobbing uncontrollably — the pieces were starting to form and something was releasing deep within me — I can’t explain how these moments happen, or how, or when, or who or why — But I am grateful that ART has the power to help us heal in all kinds of ways.

Music inspires my painting practice so much — of course, it helps me conjure memories and feeling states, as well as helps me move into different altered states of consciousness.

I have always tried to conjure and channel the feeling of Song and Music into a 2d surface, such as a painting. Music is very much Fluid and so is an abstract expressionist painting -- it has an energy and an emotionality -- I can interface with a painting and a surface and try to channel and transfer that into the expressions, I can bring all my emotion and channel that as an energy into the mark making material or brush and I can let go, wild, free, sometimes uncontrollably and sometimes gently — I can cry, laugh, scream, giggle, and let it all out onto the surface.

It is a lofty goal that I aspire to and maybe even a little crazy idea to make a painting sing like music, but I am a little bit crazy to connect in such a way where the desire and push and pull is always calling me forward. Of course that is not the only reason I paint or the only idea behind where I am trying to go with my expressions, but it is a pretty big one.

I love when you find a new song, in a hidden way and it opens you, and I feel like abstract art has the ability to create the same feeling and as an Artist that is what I am desiring to do — is to help you FEEL something, maybe you never FELT before, or you find yourself entering a hidden moment, and connecting deeply to the expression and the you the viewer has an experience that maybe can just for a little while take away your pain, help you remember who you are, and give you that giddy feeling of what it is to be in LOVE with LIFE.

How To Access Intuition, Energy & Emotion In Drawing And Mark Making

In this video I talk about how to access intuition, energy and emotion in drawing and mark making. I talk about what intuitive and intuition mean for me and explain how I see it. I also mention this video here where I share a little bit about my spiritual/energetic and shamanic practice and how that enhances and helps me achieve more intuition. Click here to view the video:    • Showing Up And Sharing More Sides  : ...  

Let me know how you are feeling in the comments below and/or what you would like to hear about and see.

A Love Letter To Sensitive Souls

A Love Letter To Sensitive Souls

This is my love letter to the sensitive souls
The ones who wear their hearts on their sleeves and pull down stars to give others the light.
FREELY - FIERCELY - UNCONDITIONALLY SENSITIVE SOULS, I see you.

The ones who shy away from the spotlight. Who want so badly to come out of hiding and claim your brilliant gifts.
The one who dances wildly with creations dreaming, sensing, feeling so deeply.
I know what it's like to hide away, to mask the pain, to love to much, to get lost in a sea of creativity -- I know that you FEEL everything so intensely, often shutting down at times and you often simply have to pretend you are just like everyone else.

SENSITIVE SOULS, I see you. And you are NOT like everyone else.
You are: The ones who remember their star origins. The ones who dream technicolor dreams. Who speak in poetry and believe in magic and mystery. Who create from there HEART -- Who came here to take on the pain, so you could turn it into medicine.

SENSITIVE SOULS, I see you.
The ones who would give it all away so someone else could feel safe.
Often forgetting your own safety and losing yourselves in the process.
The ones who stand up for truths that are often disguised and propagated as lies. The ones who know that energy is real.
That all beings speak -- The ones who talk to animals, rocks, trees -- And dream on, out into the wide open skies with wild imagination.

SENSITIVE SOULS It's TIME to Remember everything in your heart is TRUE. You are not broken, or weird, or too much. Or wrong.
You were never supposed to fit into this world, for you are here to CREATE the NEW ONE. SENSITIVE SOULS
Do you feel the stirring? Can you hear the music of the spheres?

It's TIME to follow the songs that only you can hear. Paint, Dance, Sing all the feelings. EXPRESS IT ALL OUT Flood this world with COLOR & LIGHT And FLY above the madness.

Showering Showing Up in all of your BRILLIANCE SENSITIVE SOULS Will you remember your mission The reason why you've come...

To Restore a World of DARKNESS and SHINE like the STARS that you know in your hearts that YOU TRULY ARE.

XOXO Natalie